Balance of Power

Victimhood vs. Empowerment

Picture it, sitting to dinner with a varied grouping of people.  Conversation all around on topics ranging from work and fitness to good and evil.  Then someone mentions something, perhaps their viewpoint on something about which you feel strongly.  Maybe something like global warming or the healthcare reform issues we’re facing as a country.  For me, my ears perk up whenever I hear anything about Good or Evil and the pure existence of both.

Just recently I had a conversation with a fellow hypnotherapist and I noticed how diametrically opposed some of our personal philosophies are.  What was being shared by them was that it is possible for us, people in general, to decide whether someone’s passing was purposeful or not.  They said that it wasn’t this woman’s purpose to have her life end the way it did.  I was completely alarmed and here’s why:

Purposeful is a generally accepted term that means something has a useful purpose or is intentional.  To me, anything that lives, especially beings with consciousness like us have existences that are purposeful!  Also, I ascribe to a similar philosophy as Byron Katie who wrote, Loving What Is, where there exists:

• My Business (what I know and what I have control over),
• Your Business (what you know and have control over) and
• The Universe’s or God’s Business (what you nor I know or have control over).  No one that I have encountered has stated this view as succinctly and eloquently.

With this perspective in mind, everything that happens to me or another person has happened because it was supposed to happen.  In other words, everything is right just as it is at this moment.  From car accidents to mega-jackpot lottery wins, and births to the onset of a deadly disease; it is all as it should be.  In other words, it is all intentional or purposeful no matter how heinous or wonderful it may seem to us.

Were it all up to us, we’d create the world around us according to My Business, but the Universe doesn’t work that way.  There is Your Business that needs to be considered and beyond that there’s God’s Business.  So who is to say that what has occurred to you or I is not purposeful?

Not me! I know that much.

What I have seen when someone adopts a belief that what has happened to them or to someone else, wasn’t really supposed to happen is that they enter what I call Victim Mentality.  In Victim mentality, my Mom wasn’t supposed to get breast cancer, my friend Beth’s son wasn’t supposed to die in a car accident, Manny wasn’t supposed to be traumatized by his manipulative and toxic girlfriend.

When in victim mentality or victim mode, we usually complain, bitch and moan about what shouldn’t have been because we are attached to the idea that what I want (or desired to have occurred) is the way it should have been and I lose time, energy and opportunities.

When in victim mode I lose time and energy, because I focus on the past.  That hurtful, traumatic and awful experience is what I dwell on; I replay it differently in my mind and I focus on it as my minutes and days here now, fade away – on and on. My energy, emotional and otherwise, gets mismanaged I don’t do what I want to do, which is to move on and heal, because I throw my energy away on this event from my past or from a moment ago and I don’t see opportunities for me here and now, possibilities that could bring me joy are missed because my attention is focused outward – they, them, or it:

• Beth could dwell on what could have happened had she taken a different route to school that day or what if she would have stopped for 1 second longer at that last stop sign or what if she would have just followed her hunch to take a day off of work for her birthday to spend with her son.  Time just wastes away for Beth.  Grieving is healthy, I don’t decry that.  Beth needs to heal and however long it takes will depend on the person.

It is the victimhood that I’m addressing, not healing, I need to be clear about that.

So going back to the conversation with my colleague, for them to decide that it was not purposeful for someone to pass away the way they did, to me is a step toward Victim mentality.  I believe healing exists on the opposite side of the spectrum – in an Empowered mindset.

What I do as an Intuitive Consultant and a Hypnotherapist is to Empower my clients.  I help them get answers from the Universe about the events in their lives and as a therapist I assist them in moving through the healing process so Empowerment of my clients is my #1 priority.

That is why the perceived disempowerment by leading someone down victim thinking alarmed me.  What do you think?  Do you share my view?  What other insights do you have on balancing power within ourselves?

Next time, I’ll delve into how you can empower yourself now.  Look for another the next article – 7th Sense Living as a Power Balancing Therapy.

Till next time lovely people, blessing to you!

-David